Outside the earth is coated in ice and snow. Inside my orchids are blooming and it bides me through till the snowdrops and grape hyacinths will begin to stretch out of their winter slumber. I planted the snowdrops just this fall, and now that it is Imbolc I am very very anxious to see them, but winter lingers a bit longer here than in the isles.
Yet, despite the wait to come, I feel very blessed by the waves of inspiration that have come to me through the week. I am reorganizing a lot of space to fine tune it to my tastes. Some artists are not so sensitive to the environment, but I am not one of those. I forgot how much fun this kind of work can be. I have to make my standby studio more workable while my main studio is being completed.
MAY ALL BE THRICE BLESSED
Lady of the Flame,
Stoke our internal fires:
may will be the fire of the heart,
may vision be the fire of the mind,
may passion be the fire of the flesh,
may all be thrice blessed.
Lady of the Forge,
Shape our internal form:
may strength be the form of the heart,
may wisdom be the form of the mind,
may vigor be the form of the flesh,
May all be thrice blessed.
Lady of the healing waters,
Renew our internal well,
may love be the well of the heart,
may peace be the well of the mind,
may health be the well of the flesh,
May all be thrice blessed.
The cliffs of Moher which ever evoke and call my spirit.
Monday’s are begun, for me, in an empty stillness where the wind, however soft or fierce, is allowed the full breadth of the soul’s landscape. Today that lead me to reflect on the nature of resilience, and how exactly do I come by it. I listened to a Buddhist podcast on the subject, wherein at the last possible moment a poem by David Whyte was read.
The poem was splendid, and I searched out for the work to read again and found it was recited in an episode of another podcast OnBeing. So I listened to the podcast, having recognized it as one in my queue I had not listened to. Both are inserted below.
All of what I listened to this morning was like taking in a fresh breath of air, like coming back around to the beginning of a circle. It seems so often that the deep soulful writers whose voices resonate so deeply with my own, are often from Ireland. Sometimes our personalities both inherited and innate, from the circumstance of our life experiences and intent filled individuation, just know what home is.
It is not simply the place where you find the clod and clover of the land, but the deep resonance you feel as the wind spreads out over the landscape and sings of the soul of a place. The Genius Loci, prescient and beyond space and time. It is in that way the spirit of Ireland, the dwelling of my ancestors will always be a home to my spirit.
Inspiration always starts like this for me. Inspiration does not call me to work, but rather presses me forward on the path. It is the gentle push at my back, the breath that fills me, and song that pulls me forward with the longing of home. Sometimes, it seems my feet no longer know the feel of these deeply trodden pathways; but every once in a while something unexpected passes by and helps you remember.
Of course, that home is not and could never be a brick and mortar dwelling, for we are talking about the dwelling of spirit. This home is elusive and we are ever wandering away from and into the heart of this sacred space and we move through the day. A life lived in spirit brings us home to ourselves. Thus, I have spent the morning breathing deeply the sweet comfort of that space. May all know this sacred space within their sacred self.
“Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet confinement of your aloneness to learn anything or anyone that does not bring you alive is too small for you.”- David Whyte
Today I am feeling very empowered. Lupus is a true mystery and it started making itself known to me right before my 30th birthday. Not until about 10 years later did treatment begin, and even now I find loose threads of mystery and get to pluck them out into the light.
We have recently pinpointed a thread and pinned it down into the light. Sometimes the process to attend to these new discoveries seem and sometimes genuinely are, quite alarming. However, not knowing is far more alarming and has its inherent risks.
With a disease whose name is from Wolf, you are always hunting in the darkness for things to bring to the light. I am really grateful for my symptoms and my doctors, they are always like hounds leading me in the chase.
They know that most auto-immune diseases start with childhood traumas and stressors that with the biological predispositions become active inflammatory diseases later. For my entire childhood, and even now this means that I virtually never get sick no flues, or colds, or bad infections, with rare exception.
It is both poetic, and I feel profound to muse over that the antidote is to go and to be deep in the woods, to seek yourself, to know yourself, to sit with yourself. Not just in the biological sense, but also in the spiritual and heart sense.
Thus, I have been very enveloped in the business of appointments and the hunt, as it were. Art is it’s own deep soul therapy for healing and coping with my chronic illnesses, and it ironically often gets swept to the side when fatigue and time chock and narrow that pathway.
I suppose I will have to remember why I would venture into the woods alone so often as a child, simply to explore and play. Everyone should play a bit every day!