Into the Woods

Today I am feeling very empowered. Lupus is a true mystery and it started making itself known to me right before my 30th birthday. Not until about 10 years later did treatment begin, and even now I find loose threads of mystery and get to pluck them out into the light.

We have recently pinpointed a thread and pinned it down into the light. Sometimes the process to attend to these new discoveries seem and sometimes genuinely are, quite alarming. However, not knowing is far more alarming and has its inherent risks.

With a disease whose name is from Wolf, you are always hunting in the darkness for things to bring to the light. I am really grateful for my symptoms and my doctors, they are always like hounds leading me in the chase.

They know that most auto-immune diseases start with childhood traumas and stressors that with the biological predispositions become active inflammatory diseases later. For my entire childhood, and even now this means that I virtually never get sick no flues, or colds, or bad infections, with rare exception.

It is both poetic, and I feel profound to muse over that the antidote is to go and to be deep in the woods, to seek yourself, to know yourself, to sit with yourself. Not just in the biological sense, but also in the spiritual and heart sense.

Thus, I have been very enveloped in the business of appointments and the hunt, as it were. Art is it’s own deep soul therapy for healing and coping with my chronic illnesses, and it ironically often gets swept to the side when fatigue and time chock and narrow that pathway.

I suppose I will have to remember why I would venture into the woods alone so often as a child, simply to explore and play. Everyone should play a bit every day!

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