Failure Was My Valentine

Live • Laugh • Love

Live • Laugh • Love

“Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.” ~ Sir Winston Churchill

I‘ve begun experimenting with a new process. It was quite a feat of will to get it to an assemblage of order which would allow me to produce very predictable results. It was like slaying a demon. Fail, fail, fail, fail, over and over had me wanting to give up for the night; but if I put it off that night who knows when, or if,  I would have sat back down to finish it. I have since then been experimenting with various mediums and how they will interact with the initial process method. It has been fun and frustrating.

Several months back I read The War of Art by Steve Pressfield*. I wont say agree with all the spiritual concepts; but it was a big wake up to persevere and keep pushing. It was remembering things I read in this book that bolstered me. It pushed me to not give in and call it a day; but to be persistent. It was a little late, and I was tired. Mostly though I felt defeated and wanted to give up. That’s when your suppose to resist the most. If I had just felt tired and my thought was to give it a rest and do more tomorrow that would have been fine.

However, that is totally different from feeling defeated; and then deciding your tired while thinking about quitting. If you are choosing to stop after feeling negative emotions that is when you MUST persevere. I kept going but I was numb and cynical but still dutiful. It paid off, it felt amazing!

I was extremely excited because in the first few rough drafts of the process I could see it led to this vision of mine. I have had this vision for years of where I want my painting and drawing to meet up in an illustrative fashion. Now is the crucial moment where I realize how much working out I have to do. This means I’m growing. I see where I have to develop and what kind of exercise and study that will require to get to the “level-up” phase. In some specks of passing thought it seems daunting; but that is totally eclipsed with how very excited I am. I know it is only a matter  of work.

Along with this, I realize I have to recharge and develop my skills; in creating understated backgrounds, painting faces,  muscle anatomy, and back-lit foregrounds. I expect I will have a strong enough study of my new process to share a painting next week!

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